Friday, April 8, 2016

Alright...who pissed off the wind gods?

If you've lived on either coast, you most likely know about sneaker waves. Those little troll waves you can almost hear mocking you as they blast your body the moment you avert your eyes from the ocean. It doesn't matter at all if it's low or high tide. They always have a way of finding you and blindsiding you.

We here, in the middle of "land lock" except for the great lakes, have only one thing similar to compare this phenomena to...sneaker wind gusts. Oh yes, I may have just coined that term and I'm sticking to it. Today, on my ride back from downtown (heading west), I was treated to a couple of these comical freaks of nature. One moment I'm pushing into 25 mph headwinds (sucky but I knew what I was in for), the next moment I see several students stop dead in the middle of the bike lane and I think "WTF?! Are they all pulling out their smart phones at the same time?" And then it hit. Bam! One second I was moving, the next moment, no matter how much I pushed on the pedals, I was at a complete standstill. I started laughing in that sick, demented way that makes others wonder "Is she right in the head?" It was so punishing and yet so damn funny at the same time. That sneaker wind held me in place for what seemed like minutes—even though is was more likely 30 seconds. Soon after, another one hit and almost blew me into traffic on my left. Then another almost blew me into a bus on my right. Those weren't as funny as I gave my handles the death grip and had to brake just to stay out of harms way.

Four miles later and the laughter wore off. I was tired, felt beat up and thought "that's it...I'm going to move someplace with dead, stale air". This entire spring has been full of wind and each year I'm amazed that WI could get any windier...until I remember what climate change does. The trouble is I like living here...but this wind is killing me slowly.

Until I find "utopia" with driftless like climbing and no wind, I guess I'll just have to tough it out. But folks, PLEASE stop saying wind is a good training tool because I think you're all just poking the monster!

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