This morning marked my first pre-dawn Wednesday ride of the year. Over the past few years, I have come to cherish Wednesday mornings almost as much as weekends. You see I tend to pull 12-13 hour days on Tuesdays and push my clients later in the morning on Wednesdays so I'm able to get out for at least a 25 miler, preferably a 40 miler prior to work. These rides are almost always solo, and I've made some of the biggest decisions of my life in this two hour window. There's something so special to purposely set time aside just for me, my bike and all those thoughts rattling around in my head (shhhh...you can almost hear them since not much else is in there).
Because of some construction, I headed southwest vs. my usual straight west today. The first three miles were so riddled with red stoplights--I hit every one of them just as they turned red--that I actually began to feel a bit pissy. When I hit the fifth one, in a matter of a mile, I let the f bomb slip from my lips. Within a split second I forced myself to reevaluate. I was on my bike, with not a whole lot of wind, getting a beautiful 30 miler in prior to work, and I was mad. There was something very wrong with this picture and I knew it. A brief shake of my "what should be empty" head and I let a song slip into its forefront.
There's so many things going on inside my head
so many people in there.
This sunny day I took 'em all onto the road
drove to the mountains and the mountain air.
And I don't mind gettin' stuck behind this schoolbus today
this summer I've been so lazy.
This moving slowly only gives me time to think
to clear my mind 'cause it's so hazy.
-Chris and Johnny
Schoolbus from Miles and Means
Once I could get past that pissy attitude, I let myself see the possible meaning of being stopped at every red light on my entire ride (yes, there were several at the end as well). It was like the world kept pushing a pause button for me.
Over the past few weeks, I could have used these stoplights or pause buttons multiple times while off the bike. In spring I get a bit stir crazy and tend to act somewhat impulsively off the bike. I say and do things that should have been left in my head to ponder a bit more before acting upon and once in awhile find myself in a bind. Hopefully I learned a bit from these stoplights today and I'll be okay with unclipping in real life, even for just a few moments,