Check...one two one two

A perfect greeting at the top of a hard climb!

I'm not a procrastinator...ask any of my friends or co-workers. I'm one of those folks who gets everything done prior to deadlines, is usually early and ridiculously preventative. Call it a gift, call it boring, it's just something I think I was born with. But, to quote an All Hail the Black Market sticker "I don't fuck around, but when I do, I don't fuck around".

What's my spring training been like? I think the above quote says it all. My spring training has mostly consisted of moving boxes up and down stairs, moving stuff to the goodwill, riding to breweries with friends, finishing short rides at breweries and packing beer for flat gravel trail rides. What I'm saying is I have no business considering signing up for and riding an extremely hilly gravel ride next weekend...but I'm going to do it anyway.

Self judgement is a funny thing and I'm a master at it. If I'm not in "better shape" or "more prepared" this year than I was last year for an event, I tend to fret and beat myself up. The thing is...where does this viscous cycle end? Sure, being prepared for an event is good, and quite nescessary in many respects (especially in unsuppored events), but shit happens sometimes and you/I can't always be "better or stronger". In these circumstances is it better to throw in the towel and not take a risk? This is something that rolls through my head all the time, and this year, the answer is "nope".

Today I did a "shakedown" ride...a century I've done many times. The first 40 is flat with a few rollers, the last 60 is hill repeats. I knew if I could complete it, at least I wouldn't be a risk factor for those who I'm riding with next weekend. I wouldn't say I felt good or strong on it, but I completed it without a grimace. It was warm, the last half I had a tailwind, and I had the scent of lilacs blooming to blast any negative thoughts out of my head. I got home, showered, had a beer, ate a crap ton of food, and thought, for the first time in months, "it's all going to be okay".

Next week, I'll share how I felt/did on the gravel event. I'm guessing "interesting" will be the key word!